There was no argument. Your oldest friend simply started replying more slowly, then stopped suggesting plans. You see their photos with new people and are not sure whether to reach out, wait, or accept that things have changed.
Iris, also called IrisChat, is an iMessage thought partner adults can text to talk through situations like this one. It is designed to help people put feelings into words, consider different explanations, and think about how they want to respond.
A Loss That Is Hard to Explain
Changes in friendship can be difficult to talk about. There may be no clear event to describe, and other friends may be connected to both people. Someone may also feel embarrassed to be hurt by something that looks small from the outside.
Iris was created to make conversations like this easier to begin. It is available 24/7 through iMessage, with no separate app to download. A user might start with, “I think my best friend is drifting away and I don’t know what I did.”
Exploring Your Side of the Story
Iris cannot know what the other person is thinking. Its role is to help the user explore their own experience: what they miss, what they have noticed, and what they would like to happen.
A conversation might separate facts from interpretations. “She hasn’t called in a month” is something the user knows. “She doesn’t care anymore” is one possible explanation among several. Iris is designed to make room for both the hurt and the uncertainty.
From there, the user may want to think about a next step, such as sending a message, suggesting a plan, or giving the friendship some space. Iris offers gentle suggestions, and the decision stays with the person.
Why Being Heard Matters
A 2024 PNAS study found that AI-generated responses could make people feel heard, though the effect was weaker when people knew the response came from AI. The study did not test Iris or friendships.
For Iris, the finding supports a focus on responding to the specific concern a person brings. Feeling understood can make it easier to keep talking, which may lead to a clearer view of what the user wants from the relationship. Results depend on each conversation.
Coming Back to the Thread
Iris is designed to remember details from earlier conversations. If the user reaches out to their friend, they can return afterward to talk about how it went, with the history already part of the conversation.
The product was built by a team that includes clinicians, therapists, scientists, and mental health professionals. It is also designed for conversations about family, romantic relationships, everyday stress, overthinking, and major life changes.
Iris is a non-clinical thought partner for adults aged 18 and older. It does not provide diagnosis, treatment, or emergency support, and it is not a replacement for professional care or for the people in a user’s life. Its AI-generated responses can be inaccurate.
To learn more, visit chatwithiris.com.